An escape to happiness :)

2011-09-01T16:07:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was my mum's 53rd birthday! We went to Secret of Louisiana, PJ for dinner by the lake. We ordered main dish for one each and shared together. The food was pretty good, what I like best is the lamb. It has something sweet in it, served with potatoes, carrots and salad. Then we had one of RT Pastry's cake (since all of us didn't really like Secret Recipe's cake.) as a birthday cake. Uhmmm thought of watching horror movie after then but brothers and dad are not interested. The n mum felt sleepy, so ... movie cancelled. Time to go back to work instead :(

9 days left. I can't imagine living without my family and Lester boy. I hope he can see me through webcam. I've taught him many times to look at computer screen but he didn't even bother to look at it! Argh :( I'm so not ready for living outside. Time flies so fast, what can I do :(

2011-07-08T00:35:00.002+08:00

Lately I'm so emotional. I need to chill out with my friends more.

I think I've been working harder by 20% than usual lately. I hope the motivation is still with me to carry on to UK and I have to work even harder to fulfill my dreams. But everything must has balance.

Ahhh. I want to chill somewhere nice & fun with family or friends. I really want to go out. & now, why are my lips hurting so much for the whole day! I drank a lot of water but its still dry. Ajajajjaa. Need to wet my lips before i can even smile. :( cih.

2011-07-08T00:30:00.002+08:00

I'm not tall, I'm not pretty. I'm boring. All I wish is my dreams to come true.

Also I wish I can sing ..

2011-06-30T00:33:00.000+08:00

Uhmm ...... ;'(

him again.

2011-06-13T02:36:00.002+08:00

Just few days ago I dreamt of him where the part I recalled myself looking at him somewhere in ... Indian town? Then I dreamt him again last night, Idk why is he the main character of the dream or I made him be but whenever he's in my dreams, there's always a feeling sometimes happy or sad. Last night was sad.

I saw him with his blonde hair and I think I said "Nice hair." Then I said "It looks like one of the members' in Big Bang." I couldn't recall what he replied to me, or he did not. Other than this, I couldn't rmb anything else.

So just this afternoon when I was about to clean the floor because of my clever Lester peed in the family hall, I randomly took out some newspapers and oh I saw Big Bang on that very first page. And this made me recall the above events in my last night's dream. What a coincidence.

Yet I still have no idea why I kept dreaming of him and there's always a feeling somehow translated to me when I woke up. Maybe it happens to everyone but most of my friends dont rmb their dreams. Hmph.

2011-06-07T03:03:00.004+08:00

Wanted to cry on bed like the old days but I can't. Assignments can be held on but works cant be delayed any longer.

I'm totally losing hope, it just hurts, really. Respecting every decisions he made but not this one, the same old thing again. My little 'best' friend, betrayal.

But it didn't hurt as much as last time to be exact, maybe because i'm half hearted in the relationship. But i still hate the feeling of betrayed though.

Nevermind, I think im gonna be alright! :)

Cheerrsss.

2011-05-16T23:05:00.002+08:00

Surprisingly many friends gave me support to continue working on the scene, thank you so much, am really touched. Most people asked if i am alright, well, im physically alright mentally no :( i was super down, emo, upset, heartbroken, disappointed, felt useless, moody etc. Anyway thanks to my couzy also, whom I have not spoken to for ages, really miss him :{ ever since he's in a relationship, he's been busy all time. What a lucky gf .__.

For now, i've finished certain part all over again as soon as i get home from work. But I'm very tired oh .___. I wanna sleep. Can you imagine doing two jobs at same time? One for the day one for the night. Thank God day works aint that much anymore.

My day today was brightened up as my lady boss told me that the client complimented on my work for doing a great job on space planning. Yeah i took 3 days just to adjust spacing for only one floor. But im glad though.

As for tmro, im taking Lester home in the morning! Can't wait to see my baby boy! Wonder how is he doing there? I hope he is doing alright. I hope he didnt think that we abandoned him there. Noway, i wouldnt do that, ever! Really hope to see him soon.

ARHHH. CAN'T WAIT TO HUG MY LESTER :D

2011-05-16T00:35:00.002+08:00

What can I do just to get a freaking good pc? I CANNOT AFFORD GOOD PC. I'm so gonna use my freaking RM3,000 that I won from the previous competition + an amount of dad's money to get one DAMN GOOD PC.

SPEECHLESS. NO MOOD. 100MB FILE IS GONE. GONEEEEE. THE FREAKING FILE HAS ALREADY CORRUPTED BEFORE I SWITCH TO HIGH QUALITY RENDERING. WTHELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

F***ING LOUSY PC. GO DIE !!!!

*CRY*

FUCK.

2011-05-16T00:31:00.002+08:00

Im so gonna swear, on this fucking pc! WTF !! After all the hard work, THE WHOLE FUCKING FILE GONE! Seriously what is wrong with this pc? Keep hang even tho it's still new?!

Due date is tomorrow and i got no file now. ZERO !!!

FUCKMYLIFE. FUCK !

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIEMANDIE!

Love you always

2011-05-14T19:43:00.002+08:00

I miss Lester already .. faster come back :(

I wonder how are you doing there? Pls don't go away. I'll be visiting you first thing in the morning tomorrow. Wait for me please.

I'm so scared to go to the clinic tmro. I'm so scared ...

2011-05-14T18:00:00.003+08:00

Sometimes really disappointed but anyway cheeerrrrrr! I should not be bothered by it.

Really want to watch some movies but works are not done yet. After finishing them then im freeeeeeeee. Oh wait, this sounds like it happened before.

another direction

2011-05-07T00:13:00.002+08:00

Angry! Why can't she just stayyyyy OUTTT of my life?! Please go away, I hate you!

HATE YOU!

Alright, lets not to think bout it already.

Do you know, last night was one of my happiest moment? :D
Because I watched Thor.

A feeling that I have long time never felt before.
Or a feeling that I have always wanted to feel it.

Or a feeling that I think I had dreamt it once before.

Confusion, yes. When the moment the guy said, I felt it right away. And then it is gone again.

I was speechless after the whole movie, trying to track back where and when have I felt that way but in the end I fail.

A feeling that I don't know how to describe, love? Believe?

It pretty much inspires me. I want to feel that way again. Can I? :) I think it only happens when the time is right.

Anddddd, I set back my dream to the old one, which I used to dream when I was young. It doesn't matter if i'm gonna make it happen or not, because it's huge, most importantly is the process of learning. I can only live once, why should restrict myself from dreaming big?

Thus, I'm not gonna be an interior designer nor interior decorator nor a visualizer! These are just part of the process of realizing my dreams. I would really love to make all of it happens.

Cheers! :D

Contradict.

2011-05-02T19:01:00.002+08:00

Seriously after what I have seen/found out today, I'm so giving up hopes on guys.

My first instinct was right. I shouldn't have gotten myself influenced. It is so unpleasant to see. It just gets on my nerves. I have lost count on the amount of times I got 'tricked'.

Guys are guys, all the same. Not even a different one I can see. And for this, I thank him that that will be the ever last relationship I have.

It's enough. It just makes me really hate these kind of guys even deeper. Like one always says, "there'll be the 'right' one for you" wtf is that? You don't even know if he is the 'one' or not in the beginning. And in the end u get hurt multiple of times for being stupid and naive to trust his words.

Guys words are always very contradict to what they say. It is not that I did it on purpose to be anti social or guy-hater. Some guys are really annoying. At one moment he says A the next moment he says B. Wthell. I just can't stand anymore.

Morning Glory.

2011-05-02T17:15:00.002+08:00

This week's plan:

Porridge and fruits.

At least 6 hours of sleep a day.

Water. More water.

Waking up at 5/6am (I must do this! :D I can do this! :D I believe I can! Right ... hehee)
Books/Arch, ID Mags and news. (FYI, to improve my English)

Study. What about? Technicals-bout.

And .. if I have time to slot in or perhaps after my intern, I wanna learn more on 3D.

And also .. after my intern, Im planning to go construction sites to learn how things are made. You couldnt learn much just from books and theories right?

And also material-window shopping! on the weekends, if that's possible. You need to feel the texture, learn the applications, etc or not how would you propose material applications to your clients?

I wanna be well prepared first before leaving to UK. So life perhaps will be much easier there? I must not be shy anymore. I would do anything just to get myself be well prepared.

Hwaiting! :D

P/s: I love the movie, Morning Glory! The character that Rachel McAdams played just inspires me so much. Love her X)

I'm pretty 'freeeee'. Phark right.

2011-04-30T21:24:00.002+08:00

I wonder when my hectic life will slowly goes off. Each time when I was working by myself in the middle of night, I kept saying after finishing this one, then I can get to rest. But no, each time I did a submission, more works are coming in. And it keeps goin and goin non stop. I wonder when will I get a break? Even weekends I cannot get to rest. I miss my old life! When i get to go out with frens for movies on weekend. Now, nomore!

So many things are in my list now. I dont know if should I be panic or stay calm. Every night after work, I have to bring home back the works. Every night I have to do till in the morning. But friends dont know this. They think 3D visualizations are easy. They are easy for me, but time consuming. Many edits to do and test lighting and mapping.

Every time it renders, it takes 30mins to an hour. Depending how heavy the scene is. Then within the time I'm free, i'll sleep. After an hour i have to wake up to check the render if its done. Then i can continue back on work and render again. and then back to sleep again, at night till in the morning. It's exhausting. Feel like dying. My skin became horrible. I dont know how to face people already. It's embarrassing. If it's 20 pics - 25 pics in total I have to render, one pic average takes 30mins. that will be 10 hours. Im working 24hours.

LIFELESS. I hate my life.

2011-04-24T23:55:00.001+08:00

Fed up. No matter how many times i edit and render thousand of times, it is still the same. WHY!?

wtf ..

:S

2011-04-23T00:55:00.001+08:00

Thinking ,,,

Jalas

2011-04-17T11:44:00.002+08:00

Ish. Sometimes I really don't wanna care. Leading myself into it just makes me unhappy. Why do so?

Leave it, leave it, don't wanna care le, bye.

>:(

2011-04-14T00:34:00.002+08:00

Somehow everything turns down in the middle of night.

I don't know how to reconnect all of us, best friends. I thought everything will be okay and everyone's gonna be happy together. I know it's a trouble but doesn't the trouble that might cause worth the fun being together? Like the old times? I don't mind driving each of us to anywhere as long as we're together.

Is it because of the limited time I have for them? I kept wondering what keeps us getting apart. These few days might be the only time I'm free for all of my friends. Gonna be really busy again next week onwards for the internship. Im afraid the longer I delay, the distant we're getting apart from one another. I don't know what to do. I don't have the time. Even after working 10-12 hours in the office, i still gotta bring back home the works. It's so stressful and lifeless! The job is easy but it always takes a lot of time.

On the other hand, there's also something bothers me. I don't know what to do either! Im so useless...

I'm really afraid of the future. I don't know what's gonna happen.

Emo ................

Renew

2011-04-13T22:41:00.002+08:00

Can't wait to do stuffs I wanna do! :D Will not tell what they are here, because they're all cheeeee-sy! eek.

Thinking of Sept, the month that I'll be leaving to UK, i have not gotten the confirmation letter yet. But dad wanna send me to oversea for further studies. I don't want! I'll be home sick definitely. How to live w/o my family? Why can't I just study in M'sia? What about my baby, Lester? I wonder if he can see me thru webcam. Ahh~! Gotta spend more time with him now!

I just can't wait for everything ^.^"

heheh.

My best friend turns out to be a backstabber!

2011-04-08T23:22:00.003+08:00

Hate her! Hate her! Hate herrr!!

Why is she like this! I hate backstabbers! Backstab everyone non-stop! When would you stop! Stupid!

I don't rmb when I ffk you, you scolded me FXXX in FB! I hate you! Call own 'best friend' FXXX? Wth! Somemore write in Chinese!

Why is everyone listening to her stories! She's damn good at brainwashing ah! I dont know what other stories she told to people! I will never ever ever ever ever get near to her! Hate her! When I see you will never be the same! Go away!

Very angry ah! :(!!

Edit: It's okay! Thinking on the bright side, I got closer to two friends. Happy :) they're honest and funny and we don't backstab! Heh =PPP Would love to hang out with them more. Thought of goin to Genting with them. Hehe, that'll be so fun! Excited!! Can't wait for June! =D

pain

2011-04-07T17:02:00.001+08:00

What's the point to live?

I;m just a trouble to my parents and everyone.

unforgivable

2011-04-07T16:45:00.003+08:00

I don't know how to forgive and punish myself ..

Took a blade to cut my hand but I fail, Im a coward. Im afraid of the pain honestly. Im afraid to see blood. But what about the other guy? His back, elbow and knees are injured because of me. I didn't mean it. I feel horrible. I cannot accept the incident last night.

Mum & dad scolded of course, I don't mind. They kept repeating how stupid I am. I deserved to be scolded, I actually deserved more than just getting scold. But I wish they have given me a little comfort after all the scoldings. Im so useless. I want to disappear.

I want to die.

Why backstab?

2011-04-02T18:48:00.003+08:00

There are two things I'm feeling now. Happy and sad. Im reaching at this point of my life where things have started to change and taking new turns but some are going back to the same old route. I wouldnt say it's a bad or good news, it's life.

I became friends with one girl I know about 3 years ago and got closer to her as time passes by. We have a lot in commons and I was glad that she talks to me whenever she is upset or happy. I love making new friends. I trusted her so much and shared every details in my life where no one I can share with. I introduced her to my other best friends as well since we have a lot in commons and hoping she is happy to get to know more friends and be close with.

Yes indeed they all get along very well. And this is where I started to see her true colors. I was betrayed not once by her, but a number of times. My friendship with my other best friends are all ruined and it will never be the same. I was depressed but I pretended not knowing anything until now like as if we're very close.

I don't know how to face the fact that she has betrayed me. I'm so disappointed in her! This is where I meant one of the things started to change. So called best friends are hating me because of her betrayal!

Well, I hope no one falls into traps like me. & i hope i will not meet people like her again. All I want is everyone to be happy and being nice and honest to each other. Why backstab?

Exhaustion.

2011-03-31T22:59:00.006+08:00

Today was actually a great day where I get to meet a lot of friendly and nice people. ^_^

My friend and I was a bit lost in Shah Alam and we did not know what to do. Without asking, people just came and helped us. It wasn't only one person, but more than that! :D

The security guard who helped us and accompanied me when I was alone, the lady at the reception put the phone on hold just to helped us and with all the patience, she talked to us really nicely. (I was very blur at the moment and asked alot of questions, annoying.) The lady who helped us with the envelope thingy, she is soooo friendly. The guy who helped us to take us to ground floor (the lift needs pass, and we dont know how to use it)

It is just like HEAVEN. They inspired me. I love them and appreciate them much who took their time helping us out.

So now i've just reached home. Im really lack of time. Sleeping 3 hours a day is really exhausting. I couldnt take it anymore but I have to move on. I wish God is telling me everything's gonna be alright, fine and I can do this! I burst crying immediately after I got home. I was too afraid of everything. Im so tired... how to move on?

Luckily recently a guy accompanied me at late hours. He gave me the strength to continue working even tho I was really tired and exhausted and depressed. I wish it goes on everynight and honestly I felt really happy whenever he talks to me. Only one thing, I couldnt concentrate in my work. Oh well .___.

Dear God, please help me get through this and all the troubles Im facing now. Give me the strength and courage to do it. I dont want to disappoint my dad. I dont want my dad to spend so much on my education. Please please please, really, help me.

Honestly

2011-03-29T20:03:00.008+08:00

Long time again no blog & so is my diary.

So many things happened lately. Good news, bad news, happy stuffs, sad stuffs.

Good news, I've won the Sunway Lagoon Main Entrance Design. I got the second place! Unbelievable but I'm so happy because it was the first competition I entered during college years and the first one I won.

The above pic was taken when a reporter from a Chinese newspaper took a photo of me after an interview. (I dont know which Chinese newspaper) :\ And from this competition I took home RM3000 :D and confidence! The money has given all to my dad, who works really hard for my family to live happily.

Bad news is this month and in April i gotta rush all of my works. Graduation campaign's exhibition design, meetings, exhibition's model, setting up the exhibition, internship, portfolio for further studies and competitions.

Just a couple of days ago, my friends and I entered a hoarding design competition. We couldnt decide the final design of it and had some arguments with one of the girls. I feel really bad, but honestly she didn't help out much. What she did was complaining. I got really frustrated and really I have my limits, I told her 'Fine, we'll just use ur idea and we don't have to argue much.' She got angry and stormed off. So we ended up with the idea and lost. The idea my friend and I had turned out to get the 2nd place in the competition by other colleges. Yet she still wasn't satisfied with the lost and suspected the judges was bribed.

The most embarrassing part was one of the participants from Taylor's asked us that are we in the first year. How embarrassing is that? IMO, i think we're the worst of all. At the end of the day, i told myself i will NEVER group with her for any projects or competitions. It sucks. However she's still my good friend. What we couldnt get along is the ideas. We're totally on the different page.

Alright moving on, life's getting hectic as usual. Couldnt keep in touch with any of my best friends. One of my 'best' friend somehow forgotten me when he got himself a gf. That's normal. But it's not normal to me when he said he likes you (sincerely, ya right) but turns out that he went for other girls. Talking bout guys, lately I met this guy and had fun talking to him. I dont know what are his motifs. But it seems like he's just trying to get near to me for my girlfriends. Why are all guys like that?

That is why I will not be in any relationship with any GUYS anymore. Girls i'm fine :)

Hope to find a girl who is innocent, pure, sweet, friendly, kind, down to earth and some commons with me. (Hardly know anyone like that :P) Anyway, it takes time.

Back to work. Hopefully (really, please) I get shortlisted for this competition im currently working on and the chance to win so that I can decrease my dad's burdens. *Prays to God from the bottom of my heart*

& all the best to ppl out there.

Gone

2011-01-08T17:06:00.000+08:00

Nobody to laugh with now ..

Goodbye.. I think.

2011-01-04T22:55:00.005+08:00

He thinks that I continued my relationship with him is just to pay back whatever he has done to me.

Today, he asked for a break up. He wants to end everything between us. Didn't expect to see this coming. He said we've got nomore topics to chat, he couldn't feel the love from me and he thinks that I continued the relationship is just for a revenge.

1.) We've got no topics to chat on because he doesn't want to listen to my stuffs and on the other side, he doesn't want to share his stuffs. So, duh we got no topics to talk about.

2.) I've handmade some stuffs for him for Christmas but he said they were ugly and gave me back. Now he is telling me that I don't love him anymore ??!

3.) I didn't want to get into a fight. Most of the time he gets mad easily. So what i can think of is keep my mouth shut and there'll be no arguement. He always thinks that I'm crazy and only wants to pick a fight.

Probably this is a ticket for me to get out of this relationship which has been going on for 3 years +. And then I hope I can find a better guy, who loves me and cares for me while i'll do the same to him and definitely I have to improve my handmade stuffs. Or else the things I've spent doing them for days will be thrown back to me again.

I still feel really sad though ..

It's empty.

2010-11-24T20:44:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling really sad ..

I just told WC to break up ..

I can't stand it anymore with all the quarrels and he's too violent and rude ..

It just makes me wondering if he's still loving me or what.

It's like there's a hole in my heart now. Sounds stupid but it's true. All the 3 years memories now are meaningless. I feel really sad..

I want all troubles to go away ..

2010-11-23T20:24:00.007+08:00

All I want is to be a happy, normal girl with normal life. How do you define normal? Being not happy is normal?

I really wish I could let go of him.. but it's so hard to. He's being a jerk all time. Not even a single day I can feel happy. Crying every night and praying to God seems no use.. but i know God is with me.

So many things going on around my head. How I wish there's someone there for me and not this guy I know. Everyday being shouted by him really makes me cant stand of it anymore.

He makes me don't feel like living anymore. When can all this over?

That was a happy day.

2010-10-27T22:43:00.004+08:00

S5 - From left, SY, Val (Front), SJ (Back), LS, Me.

I miss my friends.

Not again.

2010-10-27T22:24:00.003+08:00

I feel like I'm getting worse ler.

Please don't read. Please don't read. Please don't read. Pleaaaaseeee don't read this post :(

(Anyone, blah)

Lately met this guy, thought he's that kind of loner, cos I always see he's alone w/o friends until I get to know a lil bout him. And I was WRONG. He's NOT at all, he has fans, he has admirers, he's soooo active and outgoing. *Ohmygosh*

He talks to me like I'm close to him. He's just sooo nice and friendly. *Falling for him already, ftw*

**Ftw, ftw, ftw, I think I fall for all nice & friendly & don't-mind-about-your-appearance & gentleman & not only-wanna-friend-with-lenglui GUYS !!**

Ahem. I really suck. But this isnt like the big crush I had for the previous guy. And the previous guy is now my best friend or.. a good friend!

I feel like i'm a bitch. So easy to fall for guys. I feel so sad when I feel like this. I don't wanna be like that..

Sad day..

Deserved?

2010-09-03T01:56:00.003+08:00

Is it wrong / annoying to ask someone the same question after a long period of time? eg. few months.

Am I deserved to be scolded with vulgarities for asking the same question ?

Am I supposed not to ask the same question again ?

Because I've forgotten, I'm really sorry, I have Short Term Memory (STM), I have told you so but ..

It hurts me a lot when you found out that the person you love the most hates you the most.

I don't understand, why are we still together? Why didn't you do the same to others but me? Why am I different? Do you actually love me? Why I can't share anything to you anymore?

It hurts but I really love you a lot .. I think I have always done my best to make you happy and feel convenient .. and I have tried to help you out no matter what .. even though it clashes with my studying time or family time ..

Honestly I don't know anymore, should I move on? Should I let go of you? Or should I just let it be? After a period of time of trying to save our relationship, I feel tired and it isn't working anymore .. All the while I thought it was my fault and I've been tolerating with your behaviour ever since you changed .. I don't know what to do .. I feel helpless, useless and stupid ..

It's so hard .. to let go everything ..

Why does it hurt so much ..

You know, thanks for everything you have given to me. I am blessed to have you around ..

Losers.

2010-08-19T01:52:00.004+08:00

I hate guys who love to boast about themselves a lot. You know what, why do I even care ? Don't need to show off whatever you have and don't need to tell me that yours are better than mine. So kia su meh ?

And I hate rude guys and only think for themselves. Intro girls intro girls, beh sien one meh ? Your life so despo for girls only ? Go get a life dude! No intro then marah marah. ftw. such a loser you are. no?

I have my things to do and I'm sometimes really busy with my assignments. Do you have to tease me for this? Too free? "Your whole life is only for assignments la" If not, for you? I doubt that you can even complete your own damn assignments by yourself.

So what if I on facebook? Even if i'm online, i could be away or doing my assignments. Do you have to see me everytime in fb and leave a msg "Active fb user"? Im starting to get annoyed when you come and tell me this every single day. I just finished doing something then when I go and have a look on my fb, I saw the msg you left me. How annoying even tho you are my best friend. Told you that i was away and you didn't believe and then you continued leaving that stupid msg there everyday. It's just so annoying !!

Why do you have to call me "OIIII" and spam my msn when I'm really busy? So what if I don't reply you? If i reply you, you talk more. When I say I'm busy but u continue talking ur stories. That is why I hate to go online msn.

I hate this kind of ppl. They are just so annoying. I can't stand them !! This is what I call annoying people !!

P.S the above does not refer to only one person. it is more than one. argghhh !

Don't Worry :D

2010-08-17T21:43:00.003+08:00

Li Si and Valerie, I actually wanted to convince you girls that I'm okay when you asked me. But I think I fail >_>

So.. really I'm fine now! I guess lately I was really emotional, maybe now also but cannot feel it XD.

Uhmm what to say .. one thing for sure, I am fine! haha. Really thanks to you both who actually spent your time to read my blog and care for me. Really didn't expect someone would read it. I just wanna vent all my anger and unhappiness here. This is really like an emo blog. What you see here are just the bad times that I've gone through. Don't worry, there are good times! Just that I didn't put them up here. Hehe :D

No worries okay :))

Love ya'll.

XOXO.

SG.

2010-08-17T21:02:00.003+08:00

That night I dreamt of my best friend. Well, we used to be best friends but not anymore now. The dream was so real that I thought she and I got back together happily till I woke up and then only realised it was just a dream. I don't know how to describe in words how content I was in the dream and thought that everything was finally in place. But it was only just a dream.. it will not happen in reality. I don't think and never expect it to happen..

Because she is different now. What have I done to lose her? Why she doesn't even give a damn about me anymore? I used to be your very good friend since we were 9 and now you don't even care how am I doing now. Or is it that you have found other better friends? Even my other good friends whom I knew them not as long as you, they still care for me and keep in touch.

I don't get it. Even though if someone has better friends or spent more time with them, how can you just forget your old good friends? I feel like I have to keep a distant away from you because you don't even care about me. How can I just talk to you like we're still good friends? I feel like I dont know who you are anymore. You were my longest good friend that I ever know, we spent most of the time together when we were young, you backed up me when I was in trouble, I helped you out when you needed help, everything was just perfect until you changed when we graduated. Don't you know that I really took you like my own sister?

I don't want to criticized you, but really you're just really cold. Only wishes to friend with those you want them to be friend with and only talks to people just the sake of replying and dump and forget your old friends. How long have we known each other, like about 10 years? and that doesn't even matter to you?? What am I to you now?

I really don't want to talk like this much and this will be the last one that I've written about you.

Goodbye.

Messed up everything.

2010-08-11T01:01:00.004+08:00

I don't know whats wrong with me. Whatever I do is just wrong. I feel stupid. I am stupid. Why am I so emotional? Whats wronggggggg !

.............

I feel so useless ...

Everything is so messed up ..

Dont know what to say.

Hope everything will be fine ..

Really ,, I feel like I'm gonna be crazy. Or im already crazy. Yeah i am already crazy!! How could I ever fall in love with a guy who is already in a relationship !!

Why am I feeling this way towards him !!

I HATE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so so not happy.

Someone help me please ....................

YESSS ...

2010-08-09T16:56:00.003+08:00

You know what, I'll just move on with my life. Enough said.

Stupid PY :( I hate myself now a lot for falling for someone else. :(

Idiot.

2010-08-09T15:45:00.003+08:00

Yes I'm an idiot and feeling like one.

Hopefully nobody will be reading this. I just wanna let it out some privacy stuff here D:

I don't know why. WHY i'm like a biatch falling for a guy who is already attached. The feeling in me just goes like wanting to see him or talk to him or anything. As i just woke up this morning, an image of him straight goes to my mind, so I quickly get up and on Facebook :D. But nothing .. Nevermind :D.

It's just so stupid to feel this way. I don't want to forget him either. Afraid that I will not see him anymore because he lives really far away. and this is just a crush! Probably we will only meet once in a life time and being together in a group for once in a life time too.

My fingers go really cold when I talk to him and heart beats really fast. Wanted to see him in eyes but afraid as I talk to group members. Like making eye contacts to all group members but him, i fail. I don't even dare to call out his name. I also dont know why. Just shy perhaps. So I just called him "XXXX..." as though im whispering then i continued in a normal tone "Hey..". I really wanted to talk to him during the speech because it's boring but seeing him always texting someone else on the phone, just discouraged me to do so. And then finally I saw his handphone wallpaper has a picture of a girl and that immediately breaks everything; the feeling towards him. After the camp is over n because there're so many people in the hall, he waved at me and mouth the words "byebye" and smiled, so I did but quite a distant. I really wanted to say goodbye to him face-to-face and probably a lil chat more but fail. SADD.

Doo-doo-doo, i'm so stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. NEVER expect anything would happen. And Im also not sure why i like this guy? It's the first time I like a guy when I'm already in a relationship. I dont want to let him or any other ppl too knowing that im already with someone else. Because, it's a bad relationship and I wanna be with someone else who treats me better than the current one.

One thing for sure that I really like his hairstyle a LOT :D. So, am i in love with his hairstyle or him? Hahahah. Come on, this is really stupid PeiYing. I dont even want to know why I have a crush on him and I dont want to care about this anymore ! The more I think what and why, the deeper the crush I have for him.

Okay forget everything. Erase, erase, erase except him as a good and cool new friend.
Gosh, if anyone's reading this now, this whole post might just change your perception towards me and thinking i'm a freak and biatch. Sorry. I just wanna express it here. There's nowhere else. And yeah, i don't even dare to tell my best friends.

Time to continue on my case studies! :(

Design Boot Camp '10.

2010-08-08T01:50:00.002+08:00

...

Woke up at 6am today for boot camp '10. Met a lot nice people, nice speaker, nice games, nice place, not bad food, not bad speech, not bad guys, well everything is just not bad, just a so-so. However at the end of the day I learnt something, make new friends, had fun with them and had a crush on a guy... O___O

Just kidding! Really..

No, wait ..

hmmmmm .. maybe a lil ..?

Ahhh ! Ain't that pathetic ?!

He's taken. Im obviously not his type. He's obviously not my type. Well, just somehow yknow, when you meet a really nice guy like you cant find a guy like him anywhere else and you'll probably have a lil crush on him. No?

Well, I'm that kind of girl. Easily fall for someone that I don't really know and very naive. His girl must be very lucky. Better appreciate himmm!

Bout WC and me, relationship is obviously getting worse and worse each day. Probably we're both tired, exhausted, i dont know. I have nothing to talk to him. He has nothing to talk to me. So we didn't really talk much for the past few weeks up to this day. and why is that ..? First, he doesn't like listening to me for what I say. He's not interested. For instance, today we talked something like this ..

Me say "You know I met a lot people from other colleges too. And most of them are not local, so happy to meet them."

He says "Oh, good lor ..."

Me say "So overall it's kinda fun. But the lectures are pretty boring. and my backside really pain!"
He laughs and says "Good lor ..."

So do you get whats our current situation now ? Or something like this which I really dislike but whatever.

Me say in a sad tone "Dearrrrrr. You know im so damn tired today! So many assignments! I dont think I can finish it up. And I feel like watching some movies! Howww"

He says "Faster finish it up and gambateh la, talk to you tmro ok, muacks"

It's like he's got no interest in whatever i say anymore. Sounds like he has an eye on someone else. Ahem :(

Anyway feel like giving up this thing that we've made it for almost three years. Whatever he wants, i'll just let it be.. until I meet someone is right. If you're wondering why dont i just leave him right away, it's bcos I still like him. And im not even sure why he treated me in this way. It's just probably he;s tired or something. I tried making some jokes to cheer him up, but it's no use. Maybe my jokes suck. So ........... ;\\

Should I really get him his dream football t-shirt costs about Rm250?

Recently I just bought him the T90 bag costs me Rm150. My ang pao money okay. And I nvr told my parents this. So my ang pao is soon to be empty already. Only keep asking from parents money money money! Argh D:

Gotta wake up in less than 4 hours time, goodnight !

Am I Doomed?

2010-08-01T01:37:00.002+08:00

Thought I could finish my report and powerpoint slides for presentation today but I couldn't. Which I have already almost finish it up by 70-80%. And I'm already feeling sleepy. My mind starts to go blank and couldn't focus on what I am supposed to write. Well, let's see what I have to do within this week and see if I can go to bed now.

Sunday - 3D Interior. (Hopefully I can finish it by half)

Monday - Dion's Report. (Gotta finish it by at least 70%)

Tuesday - Complete Macy's Report and Ppt slides.

Wednesday - Final check on report and slides. Rehearsal for Thurs' presentation. Construction drawings to be completed.

Thurs - 3D Lighting for JDA (Diedie must finish it everything)

Fri - Complete 3D Interior Rendering & Material Specifications.

Sat - BOOTH CAMP. If there's time at night, finish concept development sketches.

Sun - BOOTH CAMP.

Mon - Dion's Report to be completed.

Tues - Thurs - Scale Model, Presentation Board & Portfolio.

Fri - Rehearsal.

Sat - Final Presentation!

So.. can I go to bed now?

Hmm. I guess so. One more chapter, then I'll go to bed :D.

Back to action; eh wait. Not.

2010-07-19T21:40:00.002+08:00

I'm getting emo-ER nowadays. Dont know why : Sounds like the old me or have I just forgotten who am I?

Thinking of life when I'm driving.
Avoiding assignments given when the due date is damn near already.
Not listening to what others are saying.
Slacking in my room, ftw.
Wanting to see him and have fun with him.
Starting to hide and lie; I really didn't mean to.
Passion is dying off.

Aaarrhhh! Really, what the hell is going on with me? How to handle all these stuffs!
My assignments; I really want to do my best but the more I do, I get lost even further.
And the time isn't enough for all of them. I feel like I really want to give up in everything. But heyyy my damn CGPA is only 3.44! My goal is at least 3.50 and above!

To PeiYing (me!) in the future, you dont know how does it feel now. It's just really sad. Please never give up and always do your best. Please don't ever slack when you're in the middle of something! OR ELSE I HATE YOUUUU!! not really.

P.S. If there is anyone who somehow read this; please dont think i'm insane. O__O. It's just the way of how I see things in life.

People said the endless cycle of birth and death is because you did sin when you lived.

So which means I'm still living on earth; I did sin at previous life?

To end it; I really have to be a veryvery good girl?

Probably out of the numbers of the cycle I had gone through, is this the only one that I realised this? and will change myself?

Who knows my mind changes when the next life I'll be at.

Hah.

It's time to wake up.

please stop it.

2010-07-15T00:36:00.002+08:00

I really mean it, STOP.

I miss those beautiful days when we were together.
and why are you so different now?
It's okay to change in a good way, not the worse.
Your mouth is so fking smelly.
I hate it the most when you call me fucking bitch.
Do I look like a bitch to you or the one you love?
You cheated on me before and I never did.
You called me another girl's name, how could I ever forget that.

Doing my very best to withstand all these pressure and stress.
Yet you never ask me things but only for help.
I don't mind because I love you, but you never appreciate for what I've done for you.
Feeling very down everynight, wishing there is someone else beside me all time.
You might not know all these, but this is the truth.
Thinking if I should go on but how could I live without you?
There is no answer to it.

One more year I'm off to somewhere else far.
Three years living without you.
Will you wait for me?
You might change and so am I.
One thing for sure, I know I love you and always will.
The day is getting nearer.
I do not wish for us to be apart.
and I fear to see that day coming,
wishing God gives both of us strength to go through this
and I thank you God.

After all the days we had gone through, would you just please give me a break?
Please stop shouting at my ear in front your friends.
Do you not think it's a shame?
Knew you will never read this and you've never stepped in to here.
Telling you these will only make things worse.

I'll just hope you'll come to realise one day.

i'm still here.

2010-07-08T18:54:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time.. i need guides.

Once upon a time.. IM STILL HERE.

Both of my good friends, SY and SG have gone to Kedah for studies. Will miss them alot even though recently we didn't hang out together much. Next year it's gonna be my turn to UK for further studies. I'm gonna miss my baby Lester, WC family and friends so muchhh. I dont know how am I gonna live without them for a year or two. That gonna be really sucks.

Currently I'm supposed to finish up my report but I dont feel like doing it, I know, typical me. And my blog is dead too, idc hehe :D I'm just leaving something behind on what I feel now. You know, the next time when I come here back to read my stuffs, I'll feel something.

"If we can turn back time? Or can I have a look into back on my days? What does it feel like? How was I feeling?"

One thing i;m always afraid of is presentation. in front of people. there's always the time when i tried to record my feelings before presenting. and said to myself 'this is gonna be over, veryvery soon and when this is over, i'll feel stupid for what i had felt just now.' Looking in the future, and feeling the present. I wish I can overcome it.

For the path that Im undergoing currently...
I wish I can create something that it is really me.
Design something that it is really me.
I have my kind, but dont know how to interpret it into an object.
Something that can be seen.

I'm always being not myself.
All I want is to be me, myself.

I need guides.

2010-03-18T00:59:00.002+08:00

It has been the 6th count of the dream ever since I told my friends about it. These 6 dreams have not being told to any of my friends yet except WC. The 6th dream was last night.

I feel shy to tell them about this, which I'm gonna write it here.
To be honest, when I was in the dream I have feelings for him. But in reality I dont. And somehow my feelings are always being controlled by my dreams. Let say, I felt angry in a dream and when I woke up, I will have the same anger too and it will continue the whole day. Well, at least it faded abit at the end of the day. This is also one thing which Im trying my very best to avoid.

So this means that I have feelings for him when I just woke up. And now? A lil. Soon or later, it will fade away until the next dream. Pathetic uh? I dont want this to happen too.

In most of the dreams, he's a great guy. A really great person and perfect to be someone's partner. Fun to hang out with, caring, so warm, good sense of humour, cherrish someone easily, rommantic, kind and of course appreciative. Well, if only this side of him exists in reality, his girls would have been the most lucky ones. Anyway, I dont really know him yet though.

There I've said it all which troubles me whenever I dreamt of him. It took few years for me to figure out this. Figure what? All these, that my mood was actually being controlled by my dreams and that I actually do not have feelings for him in reality instead I have feelings for him only in dreams. I used to be confuse.

Probably the next time, I will find out WHY IS IT HIM. It's still mystery and confusing, lol.
Any comments or guides? Msn me pls, thanks ;D

And.. is it necessary to record down our dreams?

2009-12-17T16:48:00.002+08:00

I remember most of my dreams. Some are very interesting yet illogical. ^_^

Some are messages or reminders. Like, reminds me to get up in the morning or I'll be late to class! But I always get up 30mins before my class starts w/o alarm rings or anything. Still, I'm late to class. This happens very often.

Yesterday I took a nap in the evening. and it reminds me to buy fishes for my new aquarium. Yes, i've actually totally forgotten that my new aquarium is under my study table. =.= I was too busy with projects so I didnt get to buy any fishes.

It doesn't matter if it is a 10minutes sleep, i still dream! Or even a few mins. This happened to me few times, when i accidentally fell asleep in class/car/movie, then i started seeing images but Im still conscious in the outside, like Im still able to listen people talking, songs, etc. Then a few minutes later I woke up, it's either bcos someone accidentally knocked me, called me, a very loud sound heard, etc. Kinda fun tho.

Well, I hope someone can answer to my previous post.

Always the same person in my dream.

2009-12-17T16:39:00.002+08:00

It has been three years that I've kept seeing him in my dreams.

This makes me really confuse.
I did not think of him before I go to bed, I don't even think of him!
I have not seen him for 7 years until this year, September. We had a gathering.
Well, I thought seeing him would able to solve the problem but it didn't!
It's still the same thing, nothing changes.

I don't have any feelings for him, I already have a boyfriend for 2 years plus..
These dreams used to happen everyday when I was 15-16.
Then it slowly decrease till at least once a week. I'm 19 now.

You see, i don't even have feelings for this guy. But these dreams made me have a lil feeling towards him. It's very annoying and makes me so confuse. WHY?? Can all of this thing stop please? I dont want to think that Im in love with him because i dont! Help me T__T

Why ?!

2009-10-07T15:26:00.002+08:00

so frustrated now as some of my friends just dont understand me.

im so confused now, i thought they have already postponed to another day, but now it has changed back to thursday, which is on my boyfriend's birthday.

how can I just go out and celebrate for another while I just pretend i forget my bf's bday? right -.-

"Call your bf at night lah." Hello, birthday is only once a year! And what if im going oversea after my diploma? And so next year will be the only year I can celebrate his bday. That is why I just said count me out. I dont know if this is okay to do so..

Cakeeee .

2009-09-18T01:04:00.004+08:00

Last two weeks, WoeiCheng and I baked a cake! YES, WE DID!

Well, of course I didnt help much hehe. He's in baking field, so he knows how to bake a cake =D

So we planned to make a black forest cake. What I did was only to measure the weigh of the ingredients :\ and some other minor work. Hmm everything went smoothly, but expected, the kitchen will be in a mess. Even you can see melted chocolate drips on the floor D: what to do, guys ma.

The deco isnt good. U can see the cacat-ness in the pic. Well, it was me the one who placed the chocolate rice on the cake =,= . First time ma. And we were short of chocolate rice, so we placed chocolate chips on it. Well, definitely the cake is sweeeet. Overall, everyone of us comment that the cake is a lil hard. NOT that hard tho. just a lil. And i think overall is okay.

I think around this week or next week, we're probably making mooncakes! and maybe some muffins! Im not sure this gonna work tho hahah. (as in successfully making them!) :D

Ludovico Einaudi .

2009-09-18T00:21:00.003+08:00

Have you ever heard of him? Probably most of you all already heard of him but me no =O

Especially those who take music classes, should have heard of him.

One of my maple buddy had just introduced us his music piece, Primavera and Divenire.

I wasn't really into classical music until I hear Ludovico's music... So far I've heard a few of them and they are all amazing! I love most would be 'Fly'. Guys, try spending some time to listen some of his music. IMO (In my opinion) , each piece are filled with different emotions. They are all so inspirational. Love all of them sooo much. I salute him, that he's able to compose such emotional and difficult music piece.

Listen to his music, everyone has different opinions =D

Karthini's Bdae Party :)

2009-09-15T00:15:00.002+08:00

The party held on 12th Sept, on her bday. I was soo late to her party. :\ Really sorry, i think i've missed out some stuffs. And i actually feel so sad that i didnt get to join u guys on Fri. It must have been fun right?

Well, it was really fun altho not much of activities made. The most hilarious part was Emily's younger brother, 11 and Karthini's younger bro, 10 made alot kinds of joke. I dont know is it just them or they're trying to entertain us. Anyway it works. hahah. Believe it or not, I laughed till my tears drop.. same thing happened to Say Yin! lol =x

Then after all the chats, we went to Kart's bedroom and Emily started trying to seduce Say Yin. Ehh. I wasnt sure what was going on actually. I mean, what happened to Emily, whom suddenly tried to seduce SY. haha no offence. =D And SY was speechless. She ignored Em hahahhaha.

So i hope Karthini had fun that night. Hope to see u guys soon.

Off topic: I hope Em and SY will be alright. I know Em can make it through but im not sure of SY. If this is what is supposed to be, just let it be, SY, okay. Dont feel sad.

Another O/T: Hehe. I lied to my parents the other night, really sorry ah. I've been really bad. I curi-curi went to buy acash which costs me rm12. So 'heart pain'.. So the point i wanted to say is.. i opened a shop for the first time in my life! So excited that I actually kept checking on how my store going on. In the end, that i didnt expect to earn that much, which is a total sum of 100m mesos. Not much lah i know. But first time open store ma T__T heh. Looking forward to earn more.

To my dearest friend, vamp.

2009-09-14T23:50:00.002+08:00

It is still so shocking that you aren't here anymore.
I feel veryvery bad that I didn't take notice of your pm in msn and did not keep in touch with you lately. Im really really sorry.

U've been a great friend to all of us. I'll remember you and our memories in maple. We had so much fun together with our buddies last time. I wish you all the best on the other side and living happily there. Will miss you alot,

Loves,
Starmi, Pingu and FF.

Sorry

2009-09-10T01:16:00.003+08:00

Ohhhh ya. My maple boyfriend did NOT run away with my plates. lol. He actually kept it for me and has already given back all to me. And yeap i've sold more than 50plates. Earning averagely about 10m a night. I know it's not much of earning but im soooo lazy to farm mesos. I think i rather shout in some place where alot customers buying them. And now im again soooooooooo lazy to shout. So i've decided to open a shop coming this weekend. It will cost me Rm5 (heart pain) D: I hope am able to sell them out. (really need mesos that badly...)

Okay.. This is..

2009-09-10T00:26:00.003+08:00

surprising that there ARE actually friends reading my blog!

I thought nobody except for some who well, comment about it in msn.
I only knew it when my friends started talking about this post. (Some post) Then only I was like 'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.................' u did read my blog. hahahhaa. surprise surprise.

Ohkay, lets move on. About the XRAY CHECK UP, i was damnnn... SHOCKED also. LOL. Seriously, I told the doctor that i think my spine is kinda to the left. So he asked me to go down to have an xray check up. After registering for it, another doctor called me and this was what he asked,

Doctor: So.. u're 19?
Me: Yeap
Doctor: When's ur last menstrual?
Me: About a month ago i think ..

Then he jotted down whatever important notes on a form.

Doctor: No offence, I think u're pregnant. I know how u feel, but seriously no offence, i think u're pregnant.
Me: Huhhhhh..... (Kind off lost my soul at the very moment!)

My mom was behind me. Her whole look just changed. Daddy was upstairs having a medical check up. Then the doctor asked me to changed my clothes. Then just right after I came out from the changing room, i saw my dad face.. his whole look just changed....... (very scary)

After everything has done, we went upstairs to see the doctor. Yeah, i was veryveryvery scared. Can u imagine me being pregnant? Lol f. I handed him the xray films. Mummy, daddy, me waiting curiously to listen to what he's going to say. and he said... I was born with it. HAHA. YES! LOL. My spine is naturally in 'S' shaped. Less than 10% of women are born with it. Thats wht the doctor said .__. and then i played WoeiCheng. Hahahhaha. His reaction is.. funny. Its normal though. lol.

Err. thats all for nw. Got something urgent in Maple! hahahhaa. >___<

Oh no Maple.

2009-08-27T23:36:00.003+08:00

Haiz. Was chatting with my maple buddies. All seem to be already at level 17x to 18x going for lv 200! While Im still at 123. SHUCKSKSKS! During the time right before I decided to stop maple for tempo, around in June, there're bonus exp up to 6x?8x?10x? I've missed all that! What's the point I paid ppl for training me? and my level now? so low. Spent around 100m for all that shyt? I thought when I became 4th jobber I will be satisfied. Ya right. Now I wish to be like at least 15x with cool eqs.

Market price now just makes me mad. I bought a claw in May around 70m and now NO VALUE at all. Phuck -_- All my hard earn mesos! And what else? Where's the guy who took my 350+ mithril plates? Ran away? I tried looking for him in June but there was no sign of him until NOW. He must have already created another account. And I have not online since like June? Im pretty sure I must have been expelled from my guild, AOH.

So if I go online now, look at my character, guildless, my damage just sucks since there were so many new eqs with ulber cool damage made around in June. New skills, new items, new price.

I FEEL SO SAAAAAAADD! Some friends are also missing. Some created new account. It has always been like this ever since I enter college. I really wanna play Maple. :( omg im still addicted. shyt.

My Spinal Cord.

2009-08-25T20:20:00.002+08:00

Next week, Im going for a medical check up. An xray check up. This reminds me when I was 11. Went for a medical check up and ended up admitting in the hospital. The doctor said my left lung was nearly damaged by phlegm. Too much of it. Then everything got better after a week, injections every day and night for the one whole week.

So the next week one is because my spinal cord is not in the right position. It is bent to the left a lil bit where when everyone touches it, they know. Im afraid if like when Im old, the bent gone worse. I cant imagine how.

I just hope everything will be fine.. Okay, im goin to continue Harry Potter! ;D Till then!

Brush Up.

2009-08-21T15:05:00.003+08:00

It's raining these days, I can hardly online.. :(
I wanna do some research for the FDA competition but the line just keep dc.
Although I know there is no chances of winning, I just wanna do my best.
I have a few concepts in mind but all aint developed yet.
It is easy to find a new concept but not easy to develope to a better piece.

So this FDA is a competition on designing furnitures. It is organised by SFIC (Singapore Furniture Industries Council). I dont care what the award heck is, Im just participating to see how far I can go at this state. (I have not learn any 3D software yet and low knowledge on materials) So I have to brush up in many things.

Besides this competition, there was another one called JDA (Junior Design Award). I've totally missed this one because I was too busy with assignments in college. Im still very upset bout it,, but it's okay! :D there's another one coming next year!

Hopefully Im able to finish up at least one design and able to submit it before the due date. *Prays hardly*

With Emily and Friends! :D

2009-08-20T20:02:00.002+08:00

So we went to fetch Emily and Karthini for dinner, supposingly at 7pm but we were late for an hour. The moment they got in to my car, they started scolding me and my friend and then started talking ALOT. The silence thing between us did not happen :D

After the dinner, Karthini wanted some beer to drink at Emily's house and all of us except Karthini, planning to watch some horror movies. We went to a DVD shop, I forgot its' name, started looking for a very scary movie one. As I flipped the disc case, Say yin changed her mind and asked us "Can we watch American Pie?" Karthini continued "Yeah, I also want to watch American Pie!" So all of us agreed in the end and headed to a place to buy some beers at a cheaper price.

As we all have arrived at Emily's place, they started telling stories and drinking beer. I have not tried beer before until that night. Karthini asked me to try some, so.. well, I did. The taste is just so.. blend.. Anyway, Emily was telling stories until she repeated the very same sentence over and over again. We were blurr with her stories and we all laughed. It was funny, she repeated the exact same sentence for about more than 10times. So in the end, we all didnt get to watch American Pie because Emily was drunk.. instead we went downstairs to watch something else. Guess what? The L World. It was.. not bad since we only get to watch part of it.

The next morning, Say Yin took my car to fetch Shu Gi to Emily's house and as she reversed my car,,, she hit the divider and scratched my car!!!! Damn. I was so speechless when she told me bout it. (I was sleeping when she took my car out) My parents have not notice the scratch yet, if they knew I dont know what to say. My heart is just.. broken. I can feel that my car is feeling sad because of me lending it to SY! Sorry Savvy.. :(

Then we went for a movie at Sunway Pyramid. We watched G.I Joe. At the very beginning of the movie, I almost fell asleep. The cold kept me awake. Maybe it wasn't because of the movie is boring, maybe it was because I slept only 3 hours that night. But Karthini fell asleep and Shu Gi almost fell asleep too. So what can I say? hehe.

Later in the evening, we all got tired and headed back home. We did nothing much but it was fun being with them. :)

Btw, Emily has a damn huge collection of Hello Kitty stuffs!
Telephone? Yes
Stickers? Yes (Stickers are just everywhere in her house, even in her parent's room! lol)
Handbag? Yes
Lamp? Yes
Soft Toys? Many
Necklace? Yes

and many kinds more. When I was young, I used to be obsessed with Hello Kitty too! But until now at this age, 19 years old.. she is still obsessed with Hello Kitty. Her car is also filled with Hello Kitty PINKKY stuffs! Luckily her car is silver.. NOT PINK. Or else that would be too much. hahaha.
One thing that she hasnt got it yet is a Hello Kitty mascot. Should I get her one? Blehh. I just bought her a Hello Kitty lamp. Ask your boyfriend to get you one, Emily! :P

Random

2009-08-18T00:00:00.002+08:00

YAAYYY it's sem break!! After all the stress from assignments I had, my back started aching (around the shoulder blade). Im so despo for a good massage now. I like WanJing's massge, hers is really good. My bf's massage.. all at wrong spots ;( My massage chair? Works a lil only..

Tmro Im gonna sleepover at Emily's house! =D with some friends along. It's a surprise that she called me up and invited me to her house. It's been 5years that we have not kept in touch in a bit. Might feel awkward and am afraid of the silence thing between all of us to happen. Oh well, let's see how it goes tmro!

For now, Im actually planning what to do during this sem break.. something fun besides MAPLE. I've totally forgotten MAPLE after all this stress and my bf just reminded me yesterday D:<

"So what you gonna do during ur holiday? Maple? I know u will Maple"

Shyt. lol. Anyway, someone has already 'stolen' my 100,000,000++ mesos worth of my items. It can be up to 300M. It is my fault to put my trust on wrong person. Hehee.

So, also planning to work for some money to buy WoeiCheng a present! His birthday is coming soon! Okay, I know what to buy already but no moneyyyy!! LOL. I cant use my parents money. The thing is like up to RM400. Dont know where to work now and I dont want to be a waitress. I cant handle it. I hope this year's present works!

Oh ya. Thanks alot to my parents who actually bought me a drawing table with lightbox on it and a task light, and two bookshelves from Ikea. They look so good but the table is a bit too big for my room. Now one of my wardrobe door couldnt open fully. Only 45degrees :(

So thats all. Goodnight to my friends, Woei Cheng <33>

Feeling down lately.

2009-05-19T02:52:00.002+08:00

I've just finished watching Ouran HSHC for the second time. The first one was in 2007.

So I was thinking what should i do next ..?
I know it sounds funny but idk how to put them into words here.

There're so many things i want to do in maple and at the same time in real life too.
The main prob in maple is my friends. How can i just leave them? Or should I just not on it anymore and thats the end of my friendship? I can just leave my Starmi9 there, my mesos there, my leftover acash there =.=, and my ringer there which gives 160% exp from each mob and expires in June 09. =.=

And I've thought about scrollings, i've counted things. I probably will succeed and earn mesos like hell but im not confirm yet tho. i have not done any experiments yet =.=
What i was thinking during the holiday was i earn mesos in game then i sell them. But it takes too much time -.- so forget it. will continue this when there's next holiday and only if i have mood to play -.-

So.. i watch anime =D but uh recently i couldnt find any hilarious anime like OHSHC. All i could find were the ones like Naruto -.- not interested at all.

Oh not to forget, thanks alot to my friends who have wished me and for the present, a very cool bag ;D u all have been very considerate hehe tytyty alot ;D and also special thanks to my bf although he wont be reading it, for baking me a black forest cake and also to my mom n dad who bought me mascara and id book =.= er idk how to put on mascara. after putting on, my eyelashes sticked together. very weird...

good thing.

2009-03-07T01:54:00.012+08:00

Im happy that these few days I started chatting with my old friends back. Some I have not spoken to them for almost a year, we're still able to talk like how we always did last time.

Yesterday I almost got saman for parking at a conner area. Only few minutes away, for sure I'll get saman. It was around 4pm, I was going home after college. I thought i wanted to stay a lil while longer to finish the scaled furnitures. But i was unable to do so 'cause I dont know the width, depth and height of them. So HueiMing and I went to the library for reference. We managed to find a book which has the scales. But.. both of us aren't library members.. which means we're unable to borrow the book. Then we thought of copying them, but .. we dont have papers and pens. yes, i know im stupid :( Then HueiMing wanted to go SSD to settle some stuffs. While walking to there, we saw YeeMun and Kenneth in a classroom. I went in there for chitchat while HueiMing headed to SSD. Then Kenneth asked us to join them in the classroom for project but HueiMing didnt want to cause she was tired. So we changed our mind to go home early.. and I can refer to my book which has furniture scales. While walking back to my car, I rmb that I do not have a scale ruler and a model board, so I went to Huei Ming's house to borrow hers. We usually chat alot but since she was tired so I didn't stay long there. Then I walked back to my car, drove off and just few meters away I saw 2 officers giving saman to all cars parked at white line. Just because of theseee co-incidences, Im escaped from being saman :D Yeah, really lucky and now I do not dare to park there anymore =.= I think i'll just have to walk extra further:(

>>While there was another time that I double parked my car in front of a bank. I left my number in the car and for more than 5 hours, no one called me. Pretty strange, and when the time was about 5.30pm, i started worrying. Who knows the driver did not see my number and kept honk there? Who knows my car isnt there already? So i left the class early and when i've arrived there, surprisingly my car was still there!! and the other that i've blocked transformed from Toyota to Proton!! :0000000000000! no stupid, it only crossed over my mind the moment i looked at the car. I know im being stupid. So it was actually that the Toyota got out from behind. Dont know how to say it, so i drew a pic. The red indicates double car park.

This was when i got down from my car at noon.

While this was when I've arrived there at 5.30pm.

Luckily I didnt get saman and luckily the driver didnt scratch my car or something ;0

So yeah its a good thing :D

spinning and spinning.

2009-03-02T23:21:00.003+08:00

im having a fever now :(
my head is spinning and i dont feel like eating.
and i have flu .. and cough ..
they're resisting me from doing my work.

so sad that today i have to draw the house plan. im so frustrated with the measurements. i've measured everything correctly, all are about 90degree, but still why the heck when i draw one the lines, it became lack of 1mm? I erased a number of times just to be confirm that the paper is really horizontal. It is all because of the damn table. The table isn't a draft table, but a table with four round edges, which totally drive me nuts drawing over and over again to get perfect measurements. besides, my neck hurts alot after drawing the plan. i need a massage!!

till i gave up, i simply draw them. i dont even bother checking them after i drew. then i continue with another plan which is not a part of the project. this time, i really have to make sure the measurements are right. well, same thing goes again, lack of 1mm but are 90degree.

i stop bothering the stupid measurements and continue to draw the whole layout. it was till before 6pm, my friends were leaving. i did not manage to finish it up and even till now, i've not touch it yet. :(

i still need some rest >:(

figure toys.

2009-02-27T16:03:00.002+08:00

I want them badly :(

I wanna have a hugeee collection of them.

They'll make my day everyday.

evil + comedian.

2009-02-27T02:52:00.002+08:00

From what I know, he's an extremely evil crazy guy .. but he's very funny.

He does stupid things like nobody's there. The guy who called me form1 =.=, evilevilevil WeeChonggg. I'll summarised up all about him.

He's a pembuli.
He just blackmailed me.
He bites dogs, i assume.
He's evil.
He likes shouting like crazyyyy fella.
He jumps every conner whereever he goes.
He cakap banyak.
He laugh banyak.
He's maniac.

Thats him.
That Tues night, Joyce called me to Michael's house. I went there just to hang around.
And who knows I met an alien,.. He does all sorts of things. For the first time i met a person like him, WeeChongg! Just for few minutes after i arrived there, he started bullying people already. He even bullied the dog there! I think he's an anti-dog person. He thought of using Fluffy for True or Dare. Fluffy is just a small dog while WeeC. is a giant. Nvm, he's made of stone.

I just sat there watching him and his friends playing around. WeeC. danced, jumped, slide? what else? I even remember saw him acting like a toad and ROAR? to the Fluffy. He also walked like a penguin. A not-cute-walking-like-penguin one. His friends are a lil similiar to him but not as crazy as he is.

I went home an hour plus later. I couldnt stand watching him there. He made me laughed alot.
So, u know why im writing this. You KNOW why ;)

brite, lester & zhaizhai.

2009-02-27T01:08:00.008+08:00

I love my doggies! veryvery muchh.

They're the cutest thing I ever have ;)

and they're the ones who accompany when I'm alone & down ..

my 5 yr old Brite.

missing in 07

hope he comes back one day ..;"(
pleaaseeeeeeeeee!

my gonna-be-7 yr old shih tzu, Lester ;)

got him right after UPSR.

he's the best :D

this is zhaizhai, my bro's gf's dog.
he's 4 and he is fat.
he lives with me :D

Brite went missing just right before CNY '07.
We were all busy with preparation so we didnt really take notice of them.
The gate was open widely, and Brite as usual, runs out but he's always able to come back by himself. Just that day he didnt came back. We kept looking for him from evening to night around my housing area and there was no sign of him. It was the unluckiest day ever to lose someone you've been with for 3 years. He's a very smart dog. He took care of our house pretty well and he's different from Lester & ZhaiZhai.

There was one day he came back with blood overall his body. He was bitten by other big dogs for sure. But he didn't cry in pain. He just walked in to my house and sleep. You can say he's a brave dog.. to fight other big dogs around my area while he's .. well, smaller than my Shih Tzu.

I miss him. alot. I wonder where he is now.. how is he doing.. and whoever took him, i really really hope so much the person takes care of him very well.

While Lester and ZhaiZhai, i love them alot. Lester's been living with me for 7 years. He's a lazy bum. He only likes playing with my younger brother. Like hide and seek. He aint good at that. ZhaiZhai also a lazy bum. He eats alot and thats why he's fatty.

so, that is all.
night ;)

to remember them.

2009-02-26T02:59:00.002+08:00

to anyone who's reading,
i started blogging again cause i wanna release my feelings here.

Currently, i have a project at college, making a realistic house model. Haven't really started it yet cause there're some problems. After settling it, i'll be very busy on it soon.

Lately, im watching Zoku Natsume Yuujinchou and Toradora!. Very emotional anime.. totally love it << :D they're still ongoing in Japan.

hmmmmmmmm. so many stuffs to clean up. my time management is totally a disaster.
after my 3rd sem ends, i've got whole lot of things to do. after cleaning all these up, i'll be probably a new person with new goals. heheh. hope so it'll work.

so thats all about it.
By the way, this blog can be just dead at anytime :)
lalala~

Status: Scary.

2008-11-05T15:35:00.002+08:00

NONONO NOO!!!!

I.. im tired of this.

He slowed us down.
He pulled us down.
He doesn't understand anything.
He didn't do much.

and he gave me that look?
ARRHHHHHHHHHHHG!

Here, lemme begin where the conflict started..

Now im in the mid of 2nd sem.
Many assignments i have to complete for now and i need to prepare for my exam.
I have 6 subjects in total. One of them is Interior Design which im very worry bout it now.

In this subject, for now, we're having our 2nd assignment which requires teamwork, designing specific areas in a house which are living room, bathroom, bedroom, dining area and kitchen.
4 ppl in a group. Me, Cheryl, Wan Jing and John. Our concept is Batik.

Each of us have our own job to do. Everyone of us except him understands everything pretty well. HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND A SINGLE THING ON WHAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO. So my friends and I kept explaining everything on WHAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO to him but still he DOESNT UNDERSTAND TILL NOW. We have given him simple task to do, which is research on batik and his kitchen space, furnitures and accessories. He said he understands. For about 2 weeks, i havent really seen what he has done. I always tell my group members to bring pics during our discussion, but he didnt bring anything. Everyday with new excuses.

Till today, he sent me an email on what he has done. And our dateline is this Saturday.
This is really @&*$!^! frustrating and made me really mad. He sent me bali pictures! Bedroom pics! Sofas! Dining area! Bathroom! Staircase?! wth. Our house is a single story! and many times he asked me to write what he's supposed to do on a piece of paper. I write and face to face telling him KITCHEN! KITCHEN! KITCHEN! Why the hell is he still giving me those bullshit pics?! and wtf he still doesnt know what is BATIK! I said do research and u'll know. We also have explained to him and wtfffffff he still doesnt know wth it is!

and this morning he made me really mad, now even worse!
I dont mind doin the kitchen, living room and drawing the plan. But the thing is!! It's too late!! I need to prepare for my exam!

What am I supposed to do now? I cant just ask him continue doing bcos he doesnt know what to do!! And if i sacrifice my nights, not to sleep just because of his part, the marks given to us is UNFAIR!! Which means he did not do anything and im doin his job and he's getting the same marks as I do. How now? Should I tell the lecturer? Im afraid everything just goes worse and worse!! Help me :'(!

Today, We Continue To Live.

2008-11-04T23:47:00.001+08:00

Free ourselves the way we were yesterday and keep our eyes fixed on the next morning.

Something I learnt from Moral studies under Religion, Christianity.
Im not a Christian, ima Buddhist.
I found few things in Christianity that made me think positively.
Good thing my lecturer tells some stories throughout the lessons or else it'll be very boring.

.. and many new words for me to learn .. *faints*

2008-11-01T22:26:00.002+08:00

Feeling very down lately..

Many bad things happened.. and i hope at the end of this, there's something good in return..

It's Not a Joke.

2008-10-21T23:09:00.002+08:00

If I said im very busy, so i am. Should u ask something like "Busy? haha. How busy?"

or say something like "Hey busy one." or "I know la. Everyweek also cannot, u very busy one ma. Who also know la.." or "Are u doin a big business? Costs few million dollars?" or assuming im lying "Oooh. U're that busy ah? hahaha. im also busy. hahaha everyone also busy la" yet u still get to relax while busy-ing. OR when i said i slept a few hours a day lately, should ur reaction like "LMAO!!"

URHGGG. Who can ever understand me excluded my classmates and Woei Cherng and some good pals?

Worse, some ppl thought im lying. Like uh,

"Hey, what ya doin?"
"Doin my homework"
"Really? Always do homework? Sure bo?"
"Ya la.."
"I dun believe. U must be playing some games"
"..."

I know how to manage my time with games and assignments okay.
And by the way, im inactive in gaming. Currently, im looking forward to jap animes (yeap! back again! :D) after my assignments, presentations and exams, i'll be free for anime. Any good jap animes to recommend? :D I heard Vampire Knight & VK Guilty are really darn good. Looking forward to it <3

Btw, because i couldnt stand the anger in me, so i just let them all out here. hehe. :\
ahh. no hard feelings anyway :D

been busy again.

2008-10-21T20:30:00.003+08:00

I've been really busy again. I dont even have time to have fun.

All the time i have is for sleeping, eating, drinking, washroom and working. I mean my assignments. I need to squeeze all these at a time if possible. I just need more time. MORE!!

Again like last sem, i slept only about 4 to 5 hours a day for the past 2 weeks. I hope this wont be goin on to next week and so on. Maybe it sounds enough to you, but for me, NO.

I got so much works to do and more works from the slacking members (group work). Ah. This time presentation is my turn to slack D:<>

Thennn, the part when my id lecturer told the whole class that she doesnt allow students doin other works in her class, i got upset. Her sentence was like directly pointing me, duh. I was coloring the "conceptual drawings" at that time. And do u know how really stupid is it? When im coloring, i use my fingers. I dont use ears and alot of brain thinking to color. So, cant i just listen to her while i color my stuffs? And she said many of us do things at last minute so we need time management. so yes, im coloring my stuffs and listening to her at the same time, isnt that saving time? moreover, she knows her lectures are boring to death! Most of my frens almost fell asleep in class but i DONT. Why? Cos i was coloring! Duh! That keeps me awake and i still can pay attention to her! She said "If u guys feel sleepy, u can take a break.. i know my lectures are boring cos today is all about theories...." Come on, there're two benefits from while im coloring while she's lecturing.

1.) Saving time, as she said "time management"
2.) Im not that sleepy, i still can pay attention to her.

She aint that understanding at all. It's TOA's college life, we're always busy with assignments. so of course we need time saving. Damn, i hope she knows about this. To avoid sleeping during her lectures, we should do some stuffs like drawing or coloring. Then we're still able to concentrate D:<

2nd Sem.

2008-09-21T03:13:00.002+08:00

Second Semester.

More into theories and im getting lazier.
I dont like Pendidikan Moral. Its boring.

Anyways, im really missing my old buddies. Hope to hear something from themmm soooon. Dont even know how are they now ._. and they;re right, Im now known as Miss Busy -.- (Name given by Jeff aka Mr No Reply)

and i want more holidays :(

Maple Freak o.0

2008-08-21T01:51:00.002+08:00

Some of my friends said ima Maple freak -.-

yah, maybe i am. im just too addicted to Maple. Plus, i've been busy working on my assignments for the past 3 months and did not touch it for 3 months also!! D:<>

Anyway, i wanted to apologise to my friends, those who msg-ed me in MSN and i didnt reply. I was busy with maple ._. for the past 4 days only kay. not the 3 months. the 3 months, i was busy with my assignments and couldnt keep in touch with u guys. very sorry :(

if there is anything, just message me in msn or send an offline msg. my hp no credit already for almost 2 weeks. dont want to reload till this Sunday, to save money hehe. sorry if i didnt reply u all. sorry and please dont misunderstand -.-

and also sorry to my Mario friends, didnt mean to make u all feel guilty. very sorry.

Disappointment.

2008-08-14T16:15:00.002+08:00

Today is the second last day of my first sem in college.

Everyone's been busying doing their final project and so I am.

for the whole week, me and my group friends stayed back till night to do our project which the presentation is today. I dont really like the idea of it but uh . have to make it also la =x

I didnt slack off in the teamwork. I want to get the project done asap but still, there're ppl slacking =\

u know, i always mention in my previous posts that im very afraid to give a talk in front of everyone? What happened today was very unlucky. I presented the worst! and much far worse than my any other presentations.

We have 4 groups, about 9-10 ppl in a group and one presenting. As soon as the presentation started, i quickly went to 'Y' and asked who's gonna present later. And 'Y' said "u and 'X' la". What the helll. Im so doomed! At the very last minute only 'Y' said I'll be presenting. Sucks lah. So many ppl in my group, why me? Not like I slack in the teamwork. Why me? wtf. If it'll be me, why didnt 'Y' tell me earlier so I can get ready? and 'Y' said fasfast go ready. -.- How to fastfast when Im not prepared AT ALL. Really pissed me off la. also 'Y' said, just present only la.. why dont u just present onli la? .. Im not the leader of the team + that project not my idea also. why me? the one who gave the idea should explain it. Because u know the whole concept thing better than I do. Sucks lah. In the end, i couldnt present it well, my mind just right away went blank when everyone came to see our project. So i couldnt really talk. I was trying to focus on what im supposed to say but couldnt find the sentences and the words. -.- Its really embarassing, almost wanted to cry :( . Really sad, thats why I hate teamwork. Through teamwork, WE GET TO KNOW EACH AND EVERYONE's BEHAVIOUR. im serious.

And oh, I presented the whole thing. Why? At first I stood there alone and supposingly 'X' have to stand beside me to present the first half of the project, then another half i will continue it. But guess what? 'X' didnt come stand beside me. I called 'X' to quickly come, so not to waste time anymore. 'X' denied. And thats why I presented the whole thing, really angry at that time also. Noo mood at all. But since 'X' is my good friend and also helped out alot in the previous project, i'll just forget it.

I hope next time got nomore teamwork in this particular subject -.- Doin this project, i injured my finger badly. Others are only minor scratches. Not deep. My finger went swollen, skin peeling off and there's nanah might be growing -.- Really pain when anything touches it, even moving it. Very sad le. Hopefully I wont get very low marks for this project.

Where are you, you lil friend?

2008-08-09T22:49:00.002+08:00

It's been really busy again these days with projects, exams, assignments and presentations!

Tell u what i did within this week, in short. Between, somethin' is really driving me crazy :P

Mon - I was absent from class! YAY! I ponteng! Finally.. I wanna ponteng since a few weeks back and so i did on this day! :D

Tues - Got group presentation on religion, catholic and MS final exam. My presentation sucks. Louise did very well enough. and botha us onli presented =x anyway, louise presented 98%. hehe =x sorry Louise! After that, we got MsianStudies final exam -.- I did very terrible for Objective cox i didnt memorise for all that part. But my essay is fine i guess =x

Wed - learnt Thermal Insulation in a building in Eric's class. After that .. i forgot =\

Thurs - Alot problems on this day. But i forgot everything dy. Only can rmb a few haih. I dont even wanna rmb it hehe.

Fri - went early to college. then later, all started doin our final Interior Design project. i did until 7pm since my dad wanna watch the Olympic while my group mates did until 8pm? idk. Anyway, we didnt do anything much. Just rolling newspapers :(

Sat - which is today, did the same thing as fri. we managed to do the setup. hehe. i did the wiring and newspapers until my hands went blackblack and roughrough D: now still rough :(

and now, the thing that is driving me REALLY crazy is MAPLE A-CASH! :0:0:0

Rm24 for 10,000 a-cash.
10,000 a-cash u can buy app 2 items only.
some items are 36,000 a-cash, which costs app rm85.

SEE? so expensive. damndamndamn expensive until i cant buy them!
i really really want them so badly since last year. and now, i cant stand anymore. I JUST WANT THEM NOW! My break is coming soon. and i must buy it by tmro. hehehe. but i can buy like rm12 only? which is 5,000 a-cash. Sad la. Anybody wanna buy for me? hehehe. waiting! jk. -.-

This sucks.

2008-07-25T17:37:00.002+08:00

I don't like teamwork.

I know all of us can learn a lesson from teamwork.
But when a person doesn't do his/her work .. what will you feel?

This has happened to me so many times, even now. There're plenty of assignments waiting for me to complete them, and still there are ppl giving me extra works which they are supposed to do. Then what the hell is teamwork for?

It's starting to get on my nerve. Ppl just love to give excuses for not doing their job at all. Hey, i've heard ALOT already and sick of listening the same excuses.
All the while, they are relaxin'. All the while, we are busy-ing. In the end, we got the same marks which is so totally UNFAIR.

They get to sleep early and wake up late. We HAVE to sleep late and wake up early.
I just really cant stand this -.- ..
Its making me crazy with all the EXTRAA assignments. it sucks.

when is the only time I get to relax?! Im not a machine! I need time to relax! Stop torturing me. Damn, i hate this.

Their Impolite-ness & Irrespective-ness.

2008-07-15T20:57:00.003+08:00

Todaaay arh .

I got two presentations; Com Skill & Msian Studies.

Im happy for the both presentations are over now, and my speech is fine.

Because I practised for a number of times for my speech and .. Msian studies too.
But I presented MS this evening was really bad. I forgot many words especially when I look at Yee Mun's face. Saw her laughing -.-

Totally, there were 10 groups for this MS presentation.
When the first group was presenting, the class is really N O I S Y . Especially those girls and guys behind me taking MS class as a pasar malam. Although Fadzillah shhh-ed them, there were still noises coming from them. They are like 24/7 banyak-cakap people.

After the first presentation, there was this girl or rather to say a tomboy from nowhere questioned the 1st group members about their topic presented. Then, the 2nd one, my group, she also questioned us. Luckily Cheryl was there to answer. I got no idea what to answer -.- Anyway, she kept asking questions while she already has the answers.

So, no worries, i think she's still okay because maybe that's a part of her job being an audience and asking questions.

BUT THEN ..

When the class was about to end, the GIRLS behind me started singing ..

"We will, we will ROCK you!, We will, we will ROCK you!, We will, we will F*** you! .." x3

-___-??!!? At first i thought i heard it wrongly, but when they began to sing louder, no doubt i heard them saying the F word. It's not cool or funny though, I still heard them laughing because they think it was 'funny'. Instead, they sound like ppl who has never attend Moral lessons in school before. For me, i think it's okay to use the word when a person's reallyreally mad. I understand. But .. these ppl think it is funny. Very funny meh? Tell me!

Then, i wanted to see the PEOPLE who were singing that stupid song when there are actually ppl presenting in front. I turned back and GUESS WHAT I SAW?

I saw that tomboy singing along with the girls. Hey, GIRLS lah. Where's ur sopan-ness? ( forgot the word in English :\) And that tomboy, came here and make noise also? Is that a part of her job? argh. hate her. And is there anyone saw her pointing her middle finger? Im not sure I saw her doin this while she was singing. :\ Also, they're really being irrespective towards the presenters.

Anyway, im just saying that now only i realised there ARE GIRLS like this & how annoying ppl can be. Btw, i feel happy with my classmates. All of them are really friendly! not as noisy as them also :P

D:<

2008-07-15T20:30:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not updating my blog recently. Im really busy with my assignments, exam, projects and presentations. Im still busy but less busy than the other days (:

That night, I was busy doing my assignments around 2am? .. Then Woei Cherng msg-ed me in msn and said "Come play WolfTeam with me." Then I said, "Too tired la .. next time lah.." Anyway I changed my mind and decided to play with him.

When I was about to log in, I forgot my bro's ID and password. He gave me one noob account and he has his own main acc. I tried a few ID and pw, one succeeded :D but .. it's his main account. I accidentally wan. I dont know his password also. Because all of his ID and pw are related to one old but cool funny anime, Yu Yu Hakusho. (really love this anime and same goes to Dragon Ball :0!!!) Then I logged out back, and went to create a new account of mine.

Ever since then, I kinda addicted to WolfTeam. Everytime while im doin my assignments, i'll be thinking of WolfTeam. And then i thought back how syok to kill those wolves and humans :0 Then my mind went thinking "I must do my best in killing those things and avoid death." Btw, WolfTeam is just like CounterStrike, just that WolfTeam got wolves and not many maps they got there. And then my another mind? pops up thinking "What about Maple?" -.-"

NOW, I reallyreally want to play WOLFTEAM n MAPLE. I need more time!!

my Maple mama.

2008-07-06T20:50:00.004+08:00

my Maple mama, Mandy. (not cashy liao)
my Maple bestfriend/sister : Panda. (still very cashy)
me, Starmi. (cashless n a lil unequipped :P)

* my Maple mama * :D

It was on Tuesday I met my Maple MAMA in rl (real life, thats what maplers always use as a short form) I was in the library after Com Skill class about 1pm to do some research for Macy's class wan. Then i received a short msg from my lil maple mama :)

" Today u got class? I will be in the one. *winks* "

And I was like OH MY GAAAWWWDD! I can not believe Im gonna meet my Maple mama! Im sososo excited! And too bad the shirt I wore the other day not nice :\ .hehe. We then planned to have lunch together:) I told her im in the library. Awhile later, i saw her outside. Without doubt, i quickly waved at her and she waved back. A second later, i was thinking "Eh, is this her or not wan. what if wrong person? die la. But im pretty sure its her.."

I walked out from the library, and asked her "Hey, u amanda?" She said, "yeap" with a smile.
hehehehe. im soooooo SHYSHYSHYSHY! Dunno whats wrong with me, i kept smiling after that. >__<" Then I thought of Panda, one of my maple bestfriend. *Now, she's my sister because her name is Angeline Lee and mine, Alice Lee* I wanted to call her come along and join us for lunch, but i couldnt find her number -.- We went to the Ming Tien (dunno how to spell) stalls there. She asked me to go order some food first and I "huh" at her. Then I said, "uhm, got what food over here wan? I've nvr eat here before .. can we go somewhere that have a menu and aircond wan?" Then she laughed and said okay. After this incident ah, Panda keep teasing me "princess alice". T__T sad case.

After having our lunch at one chinese restaurant behind TOA, we walked back to our college. then she gotta go somewhere else already and i have to go home :(

Just so you know,
my Maple mama's (Mandygals) name is Amanda. And Pandadarr is Angeline.
I met them when i was looking for a slot to train in Maple.
They gave me the slot. They both knew each other before I know them.
They both banyak cakap. And i overlooked them talking about colleges.
Mandy was saying she's in TOA. n then i interrupted saying "I might be goin to TOA too!"
Then everything begins there.

I call Mandy mama because of her name and her age. (Ma)ndy. She's okay with it.
I call Panda papa because of her name but not her age. (Pa)nda. She's not okay with it.
Why? Because :
1st thing, she's not a guy.
2nd, she's the same age as me but way taller than me.

Something about Mama : Very good person.
Something about Papa : Very bad person. She always teases me banana. and now, princess. i think soon she gonna call me banana princess. D:

These days, im back mapling again. (1 hour 1 day onli) That day, my hand so itchy wanted to patch it. After the patch done, im back addicted to Maple again :(

My "LIL" Assignments.

2008-07-03T22:30:00.002+08:00

How many assignments do I have now? :)

1. Sio Yean's hatching, cross-hatching and shading.
2. Tiong Lay's brochure house plan.
3. Eddy's presentation speech.
4. Eddy's religion project.
5. Fadzilah's mid-term exam revision.
6. Fadzilah's project 1 : Environmental Issues in Malaysia.
7. Fadzilah's project 2 : Lepak Culture in Malaysia.

-___-" didnt even notice i have this much so far.

8. Eric's project 1.
9. Interior Design 1 : Create an expressional space.
10. Miss Yeong's IH journal.
11. Miss Yeong's Assignment 1.

i got 11! ELEVEN! whatthefshyth. D:{ !!!!

* Religion project can be postponed. The rest cannot be postponed already. !?

Now im rushing. I didnt really delay some before this big stacks of assignments come. Its just that im always spending my time on research research research, and in the end, i couldnt find the one that i want.

Then when i rush, i'll get a serious headache. this stupid HEADACHE ruins my mood for all day long. As if like my brain gonna explode into pieces or been punched by thousands times and i still have that now.

the most annoying n pissing me off is, ppl think im too free. they'll be like " Oh, u got many assignments? Me too. I also got headache lah. So are u goin to finish them today (wth?)? Okay, im goin to watch tv now. Ttyl till u finish them."

What do they think? My assignments are like 1000 times more than urs. If urs can be done by today, mine NOT. My assignments are not like high school homeworks. Like, i got addmaths homework to be done and i have to pass up tmro. <> I think addmaths are much better than doin all these research. Religion? Lepak culture? Environmental issues? My topic for the speech? Eric's research? Of course AddMath much better lah. AddMath, we dont need to do research. All we have to do is solve the questions. Besides doin research, we still have to take photos, interview, sketches. >__<

Anyway, i actually didnt really want to update now wan, but since some ppl making me darn frustrating now, i express it here :$ Okay, thats all :\

Tagged.

2008-06-21T20:05:00.002+08:00

Tagged by Whay & Zoe.

1. Six People to Tag. The victims are:

Joyce
Wai Teng
Sam
Su Ping
Valerie
Mei Ying

2. Six Things I'm Passionate About

Mapling
Being with him
Hanging out with friends
Music
Drawing
Coloring

3. Six Things I Say Too Often

Love u, miss u
What u doin now
Where are u
Okay
What la
I dunno

4. Six Books I've read(Recently)

within SPAS
&
nomore. ;)

5. Six Songs I Can Listen To Again and Again

Rihanna - Dont Stop The Music
Paul Van Dyke - Tell Me Why
Prodigy - Fire Starter
Jesse McCartney - Because You Live
Michelle Branch - Everywhere
Mandy Moore - I Wanna Be With You

6. Six Things I Learnt In The Past Year

Work hard for our dreams.
No procastination.
Appreciate life.
Enjoy life.
Love ur loved ones.
Read more ._.

My Beautiful Daily Life.

2008-06-21T00:43:00.003+08:00

Just now went to JJ Klang with ex-classmates, Shieh Ren -the driver, Carol, Clarissa, Wai Teng and Shu Gi. We have not meet each other since SPM :0 about 6 months ago and now we finally meet! :D Except Shu Gi and Clarissa lah.

Then we have fun together and talked about our life. Very happy to meet all of them and the thing is i miss them lots! I feel more comfortable being with them compare to new friends lah. Since i and them have been already in the same school for the past 5 years.. but somehow we ended up goin back at 10.30pm. I thought we at least can stay a lil longer chatting around but since it was already a lil late, we have to go home. So, only 3 hours spent with them! including 2 hours movie. :\ I hope we can meet more often =D

Later reached home already suddenly feel no mood. Actually i was happy wan.. then dunno what topic or WC's mood was bad made me feeel so badddd. As time passes by, talking on phone with WC, i feel even worse. Soon his mood gained better while me feel not good at all. I think I'll just forget it lah. All i want now is just to make him happy and appreciate me!! :0

Nowww, i got so many works to complete. MANYMANYMANY. Too many till I cant remember and where to start. Like, I complete this assignment then another assignment pops up. the assignment is getting bigger and bigger. More works to do and the time given is only weeks. Its always been like this and i hate it so much. Gimme some time to rest lah. Why like this wan? :(
Plus, my life now is like,

6.30am Wake up.
7.35am Leave house to college.
8.20am Reached college.
10.00am Class starts.
5.00pm Class ends.
Sometimes 5pm to 7pm Waiting my dad.
8.00pm Reached home.
1am-4am Sleep.

Within the hours, i dont have time to have fun. Not even a single hour. If i want to, my mind will be bothered by those assignments. and this schedule of my daily life has been repeating like this ever since started college. It's been 5th week already, im lack of sleep, lack of entertainment, lack of social, etc. Soo boring! My stupid daily life which now im trying to enjoy stupidly. worse is soon i gonna take bus alone. Im gonna have to wait for the bus and its so time consuming. Now my maid also ran away already need to do some hse chores. Time consuming again.

Also, Sunday is like a busy day for me. I dont even touch tv on Sundays and how long have i not watching tv already ah? Longlong time ago. Assignments + Mid term exams. More stuffs i have to complete already. It's soooooooooooooooo wtf.

Pressure.Pressure.Pressure.
If there's magic, then cool :\

My 3D Models

2008-06-19T21:32:00.005+08:00

My 3D models making. Assignment wan..

The first layer of my 3D. One layer took around 30 minutes. :(

The final one :D This a cube with rainbow colors. Its theme is intersection. It is 11 x 11cm and those colorful papers intersected by cutting 0.2cm a line in every each 1cm. This took me around 6 hours or plus :\ Today, we got presentation on these model making. We have to talk about how it transformed from 2D and 3D and .. stuffs lah. How i presented it today? Sucks. Totally. I was so scared, nervous till unable to think and speak, my mind just went blank! ._. Cause i didnt prepare ma. and i thought i wont get selected to present it and mana tau i kene pulak -__-" so unlucky me :(

The 2nd one .. Inspired by tiles, and the theme for this is void. Its a semi sphere .. Actually its a half of the world where the colors all represent each human with different personalities and by putting up all these colors with satay sticks, it created a space. Anyhow just now i didnt dare to say it during the presentation because it sounds stupid and i was too nervouse :( I just said because i want it to be colorful -.- Lame betul. Anyway, not nice wan. But i still sayang it :)

Then the 3rd one i didnt take photo of it. Cox it's not with me.. The 3rd one is loop. Like a piece of sai only, anyway i still sayang all of them!! :D

Hehe

2008-06-04T17:20:00.002+08:00

Again, more assignments coming up and so are the projects!!

Fortunately, some projects are group proj. Like Interior Technology & Material 1, im with Yee Mun, a very creative and knowledgeable person. And Pengajian Msia with 5 ppl n another 5 ppl. ( 2 projects ) There's another individual proj, which is Interior Design 1. I like this subj but im not good at it :\ Idk why. Tmro i have this subj, and gotta bring some materials for the proj annnddddd i HOPEHOPEHOPE my ideas arent wrong or horrible or whatever. I hope i can bring up my ideas well and not cacated type :\

Thenn, what else. Hmm i made new friends again. One of them is Louise. It seems I can only talk to Yee Mun and Louise in class. Others speak Chinese and some arent compatible. And they're good friends ^-^.

Today my class ended at 12pm. Got no transport today unless take bus or my dad's car. So i tumpang Joyce's car :D For the first time in my life, haha sitting in her car driving by lil Joyce =D Her driving is goooddddd. Mine may be so much worse. For example, i drive very slow & bertindak very slow also. hehe. I know any of u wouldnt wanna sit my car in the future. So, i'll let WC to sit first! hahaha. I think he dont dare to sit also lah .. Too dangerous d ..

Thats all lah. I better do my project now :D & rmb this, last minute work isnt good. < Something i experienced last night hahah. :P

Bitterjeffly.

2008-05-28T19:50:00.002+08:00

Batalice and Bitterjeffly are back!

Who's Batalice? Who's Bitterjeffly?
It's obvious. You can see my name in it and his name in it.

Batalice. Bitterjeffly.

Batalice is named by Bitterjeffly after an insect with four wings and has the largest number of species, beetle. ( Want to know why, ask the butterfly. )
While Bitterjeffly is named by Batalice! after an insect also, butterfly which is a populaarrrrr motif D: ( Why mine not popular T.T )

We both have our very own company, The OE. Maybe some of u guys have seen it. I used to put it in my msn :) and some of u know what does it stand for. Im not gonna say it here as there are some ppl will might be using our names on something other else. :\

Well, nth much. Im just saying that my veryveryvery crazy 38 best friend, Bitterjeffly is back! :P

StoryTelling.

2008-05-26T23:10:00.002+08:00

Tmro I got story telling! I still havent practise a single story yet and most stressful part is speaking in front of everybody .. Luckily the class is divided into two groups, so my class will be around 15+. Not bad and hope they dont laugh at me. Few reasons I hate story telling is,

1. My English sucks. <- The very main point.
2. I dont know where to look.
3. Everyone's looking at me n waiting for my next sentence.
4. I dont dare to speak in front of everyone unless Im still in my sec school T__T!
5. I always tergagap.
6. I forgot what to say.
7. I cant concentrate.
8. And I dunno how loud should I speak out.

T__T!!! Sometimes, I dont even know what Im saying in front of everybody also. As if i cant hear my voice. The next thing i sit down, i cant recall what i was saying earlier. Then my mind goes thinking " did i say something jus now? what did i say? did i say something wrongly? "

What i hope the most for now is having the guts to speak in front of everyone tmro.
HELPP ME ! ! ! :0?!?!?!!??!!

A lil busier.

2008-05-24T21:44:00.002+08:00

Getting a lil busier these days. I got assignments but they're quite simple. Aint that stressful but the project that im working on it now, is making me crazee. Idk why. I've been thinking and planning for the whole day on how to build this and that, and how to manipulate them. in the end what i get is some rubbish. I dont want my project to look like a crap .. What a useless me. I couldnt even think something better. What im thinking is always the same idea. So bored. *yawns*

Btw, this project is about transformation. 2d to 3d. Pretty interesting :D

Abouuttt MAPLEE, I dunno what to do. I wanna level up! Im gonna 98 soon. onli 20% more to go. but i got no time for this game thing anymore. and I WAN MESOS. I WAN A-CASH. I WAN ZAKUM HELM. I WAN LEVEL 100! When the hell am i gonna get these things done? After my 1st semester? That'll be in August /Sept! Long way to go lah. Haih. >
Im goin to watch some movies now. It's Saturday night and i must relax :D Same to all of you too =) Take care & enjoy all!

The Famous Designer.

2008-05-21T23:45:00.003+08:00

Finally I met him in person! He's a lecturer in The One! He lectures my class! AND HE LECTURED US TODAY! Guess who?! The person I've been hoping to learn everything about design from him for so long finally a miracle happened! He's Eric Leong!

I look up at him so much because he's so creative in designing and you can see his face in advertising boards. I used to wonder why is he so excellent in designing field and is he gifted? Well, what the principal of TOA told us is OPEN YOUR EYES. He said when an image in ur mind isnt clear, as in REALLY CLEAR, you cant draw the way u want that image to be. So, if you wanna draw something like what's in ur mind. Make it clear & see things more. Btw, Im trying to learn them now. Im still a newbie. What im trying to say is maybe Eric has seen alot.

Eric L. lectured us today bout 'the functions in a building'. and we were given 3 assignments to complete by next week and a project by the 8th week.

Then, i have the Interior Visual class. My CA, SioYean is the lecturer of this class. Because of him, im back blogging again. I think im gonna save up my research here. You can see and learn bout them. But it aint that interesting u know. hehee :)

Further info bout Eric :
http://www.ericleong.com.my/

My First Day In College

2008-05-21T21:55:00.001+08:00

My first day in The One Academy was yesterday. Everything's just okay. I went there by bus with Pek Jin, one of WC's best friend. He was a lil late for his class about 5 minutes but I was the earliest in my class. 0.o Then I have Language & Communication Skill, Eddy's the lecturer and he looked fierce? Well, he may look fierce but inside him, I HOPE NOT. We then introduced ourselves to everyone and i can say, mine's the shortest.

Something like this :
Hi, Im Pei Ying from Klang. I like to play computer games and I choose The One is because I have a few friends here and they said it's really good. Thank you.

Short lehh. I dont know what else to say and I dont dare to speak up in front of everyone. Everybody's looking at me. I cant handle that pressure :)
Then, Eddy gave us assignment to complete it by next week. It's all about grammar.

Class dismissed, I went to SP with Yee Mun to have lunch. By the way, I've made a few friends. They're friendly and talkative. Only me, dont know what to talk. So i kept quiet and did nothing.

Around 2.30pm, my second class of the day started. Not exactly 2.30pm but 2.45pm. Fadzilah the lecturer was late. and then, she asked everyone of us to write an essay and gotta hand up before class ends. We were told to write anything bout Malaysia. I know nothing much so i simply crap something to make the essay longer >:D

Ends at 4pm, and i have to wait my dad back from work to fetch me home. After 30-40 minutes, IM HOMEE! Very tired and so is today. D:<